An ill wind feeds my discontent it
grows with every lost moment and
steeped in deep anxiety it
grows the pit inside of me
it grows
the pit inside of me it grows the pit
consuming me
I lie awake, I pace the floor,
I watch the ever present door and
stare into the deep abyss
the hole
that ate the self I miss
the hole that ate the self
I miss the whole
I miss the wholeness
Selfless, lost, and still
not going far or fast
Perpetuation lasts and lasts
this yearning, churning, throbbing,
beating fast
I gasp!
breathe deep and let it pass
then start again
then let it pass
again and then
Again the thickening morass
my clouded mind, my faded past
The distant memories
obscured by present miseries and
blurred uncertain
treacheries I sense as apparitions hence
My aspect and my furrowed brow now
fearful to behold and yet
somehow all tempered by the very madness
working to conceal the sadness
stalking me and
still not talking
So I pull hard and
I strain in vein
I try not to complain
Insane, I give in to the pain and
then control myself again
and then again
control myself again
back where I started once again